” I am not telling you it is going to be easy – I am telling you it is going to be worth it “
As a mental health professional I come across many people and their problems.
One of the foremost reasons of our stress issues is SOCIAL ISOLATION.
A few days back I noticed a young mother telling her daughter -” You have already given so many chocolates to your friend. Why are you giving her more?”
The message passed -Material possession is more important than human relationships. The little kid has learnt not to share, be possessive about things and in future may not be able to handle relationships well.
I have observed people give such gifts which are either lying around our homes or are conveniently accessible. By giving such gifts we only seem to pacify our own ego. We for once do not make an effort to think if the other person will relish it or not. Again the message is passed that material possession is more important to us than the happiness of the person receiving it.
IMPACT OF TECHNOLOGY
We humans have lived in tribe for centuries. With the changing lifestyle and advent of technology we don’t need to live in groups anymore for our survival. We are now moving towards the concept of INDIVIDUALISM. Though our bodies adopted to living alone in our homes, our mind did not.
It still craved for INCLUSION. We tried to fulfill the psychological need of RELATEDNESS through technology. However the loneliness and isolation, internet and Social media brought in our lives is unprecedented .The virtual friends we made had no emotional connect to us.
Earlier we needed validation of our looks and behavior only from our family and close group of friends. Now we have hundreds and thousands of virtual friends .We need validation from each one of them .One negative comment from one person increases our stress levels.
BROKEN FAMILIES
We are not living with families anymore. We have not learnt to adapt, adjust, cooperate encourage others. Anyone with an opposing point of view is a THREAT to us. We become agitated and anxious at minor disagreements. We are slowly leading to a society where happiness is achieved only by receiving not by giving. With diminishing importance of human values more relationship are breaking, leading to more isolation and loneliness and increasing mental health issues.
CURE FOR LONELINESS
Chronic loneliness makes us very sensitive and assume the worst about people. Lonely people pay more attention to negative social interaction and ignore the positive ones. The cure lies in breaking the negative cycle of thinking and IMPROVING on our SOCIAL SKILLS.
1. Learning to communicate in a positive and non threatening way.
2. Appreciating the positive qualities in others and remembering the happier moments.
3. Consciously avoiding being jealous of others achievements.
4. Learning to respect others opinion.
5. Being open to giving the other a second chance.
6. Having a future outlook and not lingering in the past.
7. Providing psychological or economic support to those in need.
8. Taking the help of a therapist who can help in changing the maladaptive thinking pattern. Seeking help as early as possible will prevent our negative emotions to affect our cognition.
