I am Rohit. I am 30 years old, married, and live in a metropolitan city. I am an engineer and have two young children, and work in a Multi-National Company. Since the day I remember, my parents reminded me daily that the world is very competitive, and to survive, I needed to study very hard. I spent 10 hours a day preparing for my competitive exams. I was made to believe that if I get a job in an MNC, my life will be happy. I now spend three hours on-road commuting to and fro from work. I changed job a few months back for better prospects. My boss was very happy with me initially because I had a very good understanding of my subject at work. I even corrected him three or four times. I noticed a gradual change in my boss’s behavior. He started criticizing me for very small things and badmouthed me to seniors and colleagues. This stigmatization led to me becoming a victim of mobbing and social isolation. I am Arti, and my age is 30 years. I am married and live in a metropolitan city. I am a graduate of English literature. I have two young children. I am very good-looking, and I like to present myself well. After marriage, for one year, I was really happy. My husband loved me and showered me with gifts. All those who came to my home complimented me for my pleasing personality and my culinary skills. I saw my husband getting increasingly uncomfortable when anyone praised me. My husband started spending less and less time with me. He started criticizing me for even a small mistake of mine. He lifted his hand at me four to five times. After beatings, he apologized profusely, brought flowers, and told me he never wanted to hurt me. He claimed he lost control because of my inefficiencies.
THE SIMILARITY OF ABUSE CYCLE Between the cycle of abuse from domestic violence and from workplace bullying, two major similarities come across. > The first is that both are cycles of repeated abusive behaviors which come and go against the target. This causes the target to be unsure and confused about what to do and how to proceed. > The second is that both cycles usually result in the victims being isolated and feeling helpless. Domestic violence victims often feel helpless and develop battered women syndrome, while victims of workplace bullying often feel isolated at work that they want to leave. The Cycle Of Workplace Mobbing Includes Four Stages.
In STAGE 1, The critical incident, some triggering event brings the target to the negative attention of powerful bosses.
In STAGE 2, Mobbing and stigmatizing are characterized by persistent manipulation by social isolation, criticism, and threats.
In STAGE 3, Targets go to Superiors where the upper management revictimizes the target and brands him as a troublemaker.
In STAGE 4, Expulsion: the abuser fires or transfers the target, or the target quits, or if nothing of the above happens, the target is abused and re-abused again and again. The Cycle Of Domestic Violence Includes Three Stages
In STAGE 1, The tension increases the abuser becomes more volatile and critical of the victim. As the emotional pressure escalates, the victim feels as if she is “walking on eggshells.” The victim may try to appease the abuser to prevent the abuse.
In STAGE 2, The abuser verbally or physically attacks the victim. This is much more intense than any previous abuse. The outburst is like an explosion.
In STAGE 3, The batterer expresses remorse over his behavior and promises to change. He tries to be pleasing and may offer gifts such as flowers, jewelry, perfume, and chocolates. The stage feels like the honeymoon phase.
DEALING WITH ABUSE 1. Do not lose your self-worth – Recognising the cycle of abuse is really important and not blaming yourself for the behavior of others is equally important.
2. Making yourself a top priority – Remember, nothing is more important than our mental health needs. Eat, sleep and exercise well. Physical and Mental health are interlinked.
3. Stand up for yourself – Speak for yourself not to offend but to defend.
4. Creating a support network – It is easy to feel isolated when there is emotional abuse. Reach out; many people will be ready to extend a helping hand.
5. Making an Exit plan – If your boundaries are broken continuously, and you are suffocating and feeling trapped, leave.
Stay Safe Stay Healthy
Dr. Dhatri Verma
THE SIMILARITY OF ABUSE CYCLE Between the cycle of abuse from domestic violence and from workplace bullying, two major similarities come across. > The first is that both are cycles of repeated abusive behaviors which come and go against the target. This causes the target to be unsure and confused about what to do and how to proceed. > The second is that both cycles usually result in the victims being isolated and feeling helpless. Domestic violence victims often feel helpless and develop battered women syndrome, while victims of workplace bullying often feel isolated at work that they want to leave. The Cycle Of Workplace Mobbing Includes Four Stages.
