Being a woman should be your supreme achievement and not your deepest fear. Celebrate womanhood, fuel yourself with self-confidence and let that fuel empower you to soar towards your dreams.
Is domestic violence a private family affair? Is the problem given the attention it deserves in the times of the pandemic? Are we as a society overlooking the prejudices, harassment, and humiliation of women and abuse of power by men? When will our community awaken to the pains of millions of girls who suffer inequality?
SPREADING AWARENESS IS SERVICE TO MANKIND
The first step we should undertake is to educate ourselves and others about domestic abuse and spread awareness about family violence.
The victim may not be able to recognize the signs of domestic abuse because of very low Self -Esteem. This could be due to constant harassment and belittling faced by the victim. We as a society have a duty to instill confidence in the victim that they are capable of making a good life for themselves without the abuser’s support.
What Is Domestic Abuse?
According to law domestic violence can be described as physical, sexual and psychological abuse that may include one or all of the following – physical harm, bodily harm, assault, sexual abuse, manipulation, threats, emotional abuse, harassment, intimidation, isolation, using children, using male privilege, economic coercion, minimizing and blaming.
What do statistics say?
Global estimates published by WHO indicate that 35% of women have experienced physical or sexual violence.
Why Do People Abuse?
1. Receiving abuse in childhood – Abusers who have faced or seen abuse during the growing up years think it is a normal way of life.
2. Mental health disorders -They are unable to manage anger because of self-esteem issues, jealousy, and possessiveness.
3. Entitlement attitudes -Mental health problems coupled with the Belief that the male gender is entitled to more and is Superior to female gender leads to severe abuse. Often this view is reinforced by culture and society.
4. Lack of fear – The abuser thinks he can get away with anything because of no social, financial, or community support to the victim.
5. Gaining control over the victim -The abuser thinks they are in a position of privilege and it is the duty of the victim to succumb to his needs.
6. Drinking or drug addiction – The Abuser is unable to control his urges. His ability to make decisions is diminished.
7. Suspecting partner for infidelity – Abuser is insecure and suspects the partner of being unfaithful.
8. Concept of Sexual Purity of women- Some people expect their wives to be virgins and take it as an insult to their Manliness if they are not.
9. Personality disorders – They have an antisocial personality disorder – Sociopathic, Psychopathic, Narcissistic personality disorders.
10. Pressurizing for financial gratification – Abuser wants control over the victim’s money.
Why Do Victims Stay With The Abuser?
1. They do not have financial support.
2. They lack social support.
3. They fear for their children’s future.
4. They do not have the confidence to take the bold step of leaving.
5. They think they love the abuser and it is their duty to protect him.
6. They are afraid that Abusers will seek revenge and take away their children.
7. They have seen their mother stay in an abusive relationship.
8. They are afraid of humiliation and the judgemental attitude of society.
9. They believe the false promises.
How to deal with abuse?
1. Not engaging with the abuser – The abuser is not interested in what the victim has to say instead thrives on the reaction of the victim.
2. Don’t focus so much on the problem that you lose your mind. It is just one of the various colors your life is filled with and you can deal with it.
3. Set a limit for the abuser – Confront him and let him know which behavior will not be tolerated.
4. Never take the blame – Abuser convinces the victim that somehow it is her fault. Never lower your self- confidence and self -esteem.
5. Find support in yourself and in others – Just remember you have the capability, courage, and means to pull yourself out of any situation.
6. Choose yourself first – Life is not about a dead-end you can take a U-turn anytime in your life.
7. Find courage – We are ready to lose our mental balance, lose our life but do not find the strength to change the situation.
8. Take your own responsibility – Empower yourself. You have the strength and blessings of God to change any situation.
9. Speak up – Do not isolate yourself because of shame. It is not your fault.
10. Trust your instincts – Past behavior is an indicator of future behavior. Trust your self to avoid the abuse. Your first duty is to keep yourself and your children safe.
11. If you think it is time for you to get out of the relationship make an Exit Plan beforehand and build a Support System for initial days. You have the capability to support yourself and your children.
YOU HAVE THE POWER OVER EVERYTHING MEANT TO DESTROY YOU
